Nightmare

Not all dreams are meant to come true. Or at least I hope that is true. I hope all our fairy tale, love dreams make some sort of appearance in our real lives, but the occasional nightmare can stay permanently strapped in the backseat.

Last weekend, I had one of dreams that are horribly vivid. It didn't surface in my memory until later in the day, but as soon as I remembered it, I felt uneasy.

I dreamt that my brother died. Blunt, but that's what happened. I got a phone call from his beautiful new wife (that's real life) that they had just gotten in a car accident. Evan was driving on the highway and someone broadsided the driver's front side and another car broadsided the passenger's back side. His wife lived, but Evan didn't.

This was one of those short, random dreams. All I can remember from the rest of it was that I woke up in a panicking cry. Iet really made me think, what if that actually happened? What would I do? I know what I would do: I'd completely lose it. Evan is one of my very best friends. He and my sister have gone through so much in our family. They are two of maybe four people who really understand me. They don't just listen to me, they experience my thoughts, felt my pains and celebrated in victories.

Although Evan is newly married, in medical school and living too far to see for a weekend visit, he still remains one of the most influential people in my life. I can cry to him about boys, yell about roommates, get the best advice about anything under the sun and laugh with him harder than anyone else. He wakes me from my funks and reminds me that shit gets shitty, but that's life. What does Evan tell me when my heart is breaking? He says, "Katlin, get over it. Date someone else." Harsh? Nah, well, maybe at first, but he's right. Whether I like it or not, he's always right. Note: I might regret writing this later....

He has taught me not to dwell on the unnecessary. Sometimes, no matter how hard it is, you just have to pick yourself up and move on. No one will do it for you. It's up to you how you want to live your life.